Let’s be honest – Marriage

I’ve always been very diplomatic when it comes to relationship with people. I try my best to please everybody and that sometimes lead to my own detriment. Growing up, I have always been very opinionated about things (But due to the instant need to protect people’s feelings, I hardly say them out loud). From the smallest thing like the Cadbury halal frenzy to the most important thing like what Beyonce wore to the Met Gala. Clearly my priorities are a bit haywire but you get my point.

So marriage was no exception. I always thought that I should not be too worried about this person who will make my other half so much since it’s already fated by God. But the people around me, they beg to differ. Let me just place a disclaimer before we proceed:

1. This piece in entirely my own opinion and it does and will not reflect the opinions of:
    – my parents,
    – my grandmas’
    – my neighbors
    – my bibik
    – my sister’s cat, Latte (Choco went missing but if he’s still alive; this piece will not represent his opinion too)
    – my future children
    – my future pets (Leilany – my pet white tiger, Billy – my pet Koala and Simba- my pet lion)
    – my car
    – and others (please email me for the complete list of “others”)

2. I am not one of those iron steel feminists who view marriage as a point of weakness and refused to be part of it. I do want to get married someday but due to personal reasons, am not seeing it as a priority yet.

3. I am not picky (in general) and I don’t have an ideal type (although Daniel Craig would have made the cut). And no, I was not trying to ‘sell expensive’ (jual mahal) all these while.


Recently, I went to a friend’s wedding and I have nothing in my heart but pure joy for her. Honestly, for her, and for the delicious food. After the wedding, we were chatting and I told her that I am very happy for her and hope her marriage will be blessed with happiness and bliss. She so sweetly held my hand, looked into my eyes and with a pitiful tone said “don’t worry, you’ll find someone too. I’ll pray for you k”. I am very grateful to have a friend as sincere as her but I could’t help but to let her know that she shouldn’t feel sorry for me. I don’t see marriage as a priority yet for now and I am happy with how things are in my life. If there’s one thing I will not hasten, it’ll be tying the knot to somebody who annoy me but I don’t mind spending the rest of my life with. I don’t know when will that be and I’ll let you know when I’ve found him (or her). Hahahah! Just kidding, him, HIM! *my mum is panicking while repeatedly saying ‘Astaghfirullah’* 😛

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t look down or despise people who marry early. In fact, I think it’s great that you’re able to juggle so many responsibilities at a very young age. Honestly, I can’t. I’m trying to balance work, family, social life, other projects and ad hoc stuff currently; and I already am half bald. I’d be super shiny bald if I have a husband to take care of too, on top of of all those things now.
No Yun Nam, don’t send “free trial” messages to cheer me up now. Thanks. 

I have certain milestones that I want to achieve before I settle down. Some people would argue that you can still achieve things despite being married and I know that but I don’t want to. The married life I imagine for myself is to be more stable and have more flexible time that I can spend with my family. I don’t want to still be in a frenzy and chaotic schedule that I am in now when I have my own family. Even now I feel horrible not being able to spend more time with my parents and siblings because I have so many things on my plate. So yeah. That’s the plan. We’ll see how things pan out in a couple more years. I’ll keep you posted for sure.

All in all, I do appreciate your kind thoughts to bring me catalogues of potential prince charmings for me to choose from but I’d rather you bring me the new Jimmy Choo Autumn/Winter 16 to be honest. Stop bringing me romeos, I want this Romy so badly!!

Image credits to jimmychoo.com

p/s: being sick does make you blurt things. Thanks Mr. Fever.

Nadia Ismadi

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