Mama Talks: Self Defense

I think I should start a series about the dialogues I have with my mum. Just in case you all have been missing out, my mum is hilarious. And by that I really meant; MENTAL!

So today, while she’s doing her mengaji homework, she was talking about self defense. She has always been bullied by her daughters (I am obviously not involved because I am an angel) so she said she figured how to handle this: Self defense.

This is how it went:

Mama: I want to learn self defense so when you start answering back, I’ll punch you. So your teeth will be all over the floor and Munirah (my sister) can use it for her dentist study.

Me: (in shock and a bit scared) Are you serious?!

Mama: Yeah, so you guys will learn your lessons and be nice

Me: You mean nice because we are deeply concerned for our safety?! O.O

Mama: *sly smile*

So that’s her logic, instead of using the normal parenting style, reverse psychology or just being NICE; she thinks violence is the way to go. That’s mama.

And let me tell you, this is coming from a woman who ran away from a man trying to ask her for directions. Her defense was: he had his hand in an envelope, ready to take out something. I thought it was a gun. (But later she found out it wasn’t because as she was running away, she turned to look at him and realized that poor, puzzled man was holding some papers to ask where the post office or something was).

Oh, oh did I tell you about her ambition as the news lady?! That’s a good one. Let’s save it for another day, yeah.

Nadia Ismadi

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