What did I ever do to deserve this?

I watched the machine spin containing within its stomach a bunch of colourful fabrics dancing around in soapy water. I am actually in a self service laundry waiting for my clothes to be washed. Just thinking of the fancy ways to describe such a mundane task. #whenyouhavetodolaundrybecauseyouhavenomorepantsleft

(Probably not the best laundry meme to transition onto what I have to say next but let’s just roll with it shall we)

This Ramadhan is probably the busiest one yet. So many things are scheduled for me this month. I’m not complaining honestly, I’m excited for what’s coming. Allah blessed me with so much love and opportunities and it got me thinking: what did I ever do to deserve this?

First we got selected as one of the companies to represent Malaysia in the Echelon pitch in Singapore (so nervous I feel like vomiting), then we’re invited for the YC interview in San Francisco (freaking out just thinking about it), we are also presenting our pitch to the United Nations Capital Development Fund (UNCDF) for the B40 communities and we have a few collaborations we’re super excited about in the pipeline.

Honestly, sometimes I feel bad that God has been too kind with me eventhough I may struggle with my obligations towards him (eg: to pray on time). I’m so grateful that this fasting month I can sit and reflect on my spiritual connection (instead of wondering what to eat for lunch 🙄) . I think about why I can’t set aside time to attend classes, or recite the Quran just because or to pray tahajud at night?

And the answer is simple: honestly, some part of me (however small that is) still think that I’m in total control of everything. Of my success, my failure, my effort, etc. When in fact it is Allah who is.

I think that I can do better. I know I can. You guys reading this post now, I hope you do make dua for me ya. To be a better Muslim, a better daughter, a better leader and a better person overall. And I hope the same and more for all of you too. Have a blessed Ramadhan everyone! 😊



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